Thursday, July 17, 2014

Songs, hopes, and memories of the future

4 years since my last post... everything has changed, yet here I am, with the same need to write myself out (every) now and then. Sometimes is hard to let your inside go out while having it hidden... still I will try.


Deceptions and shadows of promises that never happen have been one of my major enemies through my life. Perhaps I can´t remember many, but for something that never existed I remember a few big ones. For something that never happened they hurt so much sometimes, proportionately to how much excitement and happiness they created when they were expected to become true. It seems like a probabilistic zero sum game in which the more excited you feel the worse you can get hurt within a chance of success.

Today it happened again, plan failed and I ended up with a lonely morning instead of a nice company. I saw a movie, "Her", which was nice and at the end it kept me thinking about what we have when we have nothing sure. How much of ourselves is hopes, promises, plans... just probabilities of something that might or might now happen, and that will most certainly never been as we thought (it ends up being much better sometimes!).

So let me write you about the guy who started a song that made him remember about a girl. The girl was crying in the song about being lonely as the guy comes to make her company; towards the end of the song another one followed about the small details that made the girl super attractive to that guy. The nice lyrics made a connection between the couple in the video and the guy dreaming of the girl he´ll meet the next day. He could imagine her hair, just with a slight change, following the paths described by the song. The fashion style in the song was different than in reality but she would look amazing either way, so the small movement in the clothes when challenged by the wind was as innocently sexy as in the next song talking about a cute girl and a shy guy. The guy was terrified on his upcoming date, despite amazingly going out with this girl for a couple of times, he felt he had to make a move quickly, the initial interest was getting lost... yet the music she recommended to him was confusing. At some points it seemed like a love confession... other times, well maybe they were just songs. A thousand thoughts don´t make a reality so let´s listen to music and see what happens tomorrow. May it be a sad finale, or the start of an even longer and more bright song?

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