Lay naked in front of me, so I can draw you with my words

 

Let me start by the sign of your young and your adultness: your hair. From the ponytail of a middle schooler to the aggressive look of sophisticated young adults in the mid-twenties, your hair defines your age. Then I would go to your eyes, half-moons shining over your face; on the bottom the brightness of the sun at sunrise in your smile, both of them illuminating the serene mountain of your beautiful nose.

I would then slide my wordy pencil through the softness of your cheek. Looking at the shadows behind your ears, abysms of fantasies and forbidden laughs. I would fall through the waterfall of your neck, letting some drops of paint to mark your moon spots: a sign for the explored that we can´t leave out. Soon my drawing would have to expand, as resting in your neck-bone opens a diversity of beautiful tracks through you. Perhaps rise to the end of your shoulder, not to admire the view but to let myself fall through your arm to hold your arm. Feel the elegance of your fingers and discover the secret moon spot between them.

I would kiss your hand deeply to get energy to raise my brush back to the base of your neck. To discover a vast valley of surreal beauty. Laying extended like dunes under the stars, that back that I would go through in long curvy strokes. Curvy to make the sensual curves in your hips appear. I would skip the mystery of your chest to focus on the cuteness of your abdomen. I would have to inspire myself in beds of petals to draw the lightness of that soft pillow, crowned by the bellybutton in the middle. I would need a thicker brush to paint the strength of your legs. Expanding the sensual curves from your hips into the svelte long lines that reach your delicate feet.

So lay naked for me to complete the blurry places in my painting. I want to show art what´s beauty using you as my model. I need to let the colours of my feelings delineate your gorgeous figure. Only it being my destiny would explain why this fantasy visits me every night as I go to sleep.

I stand tall at my last instant lived so far

I stand here at the end of my life so far
In the last instant that I've lived and waiting for the next
I'm alone, just discovered that I can't be otherwise, cuz having someone on my side means nothing but that
I face a sea of opportunities to sail in the ship I've been building up all my life
I carry the weight of my past and its decisions
But that weight are the tools and inputs to my ever stronger boat
Sun, storm... they are all somewhere in front
Yet I should remind myself that my smile is the strength to beat them all
That I came for the adventure not for the goal
That each day I am where I wanted to be yesterday
And that tomorrow is an open emotion waiting for me to pick its color
So I stand here, tall and proud, with sweet and sour memories of my past
But I smile because deep inside I know I've grown in every battle before, and the ones coming are just my next game
There's no way I get lost because I came for the ride
There's no way I fail because I already won

Songs, hopes, and memories of the future

4 years since my last post... everything has changed, yet here I am, with the same need to write myself out (every) now and then. Sometimes is hard to let your inside go out while having it hidden... still I will try.


Deceptions and shadows of promises that never happen have been one of my major enemies through my life. Perhaps I can´t remember many, but for something that never existed I remember a few big ones. For something that never happened they hurt so much sometimes, proportionately to how much excitement and happiness they created when they were expected to become true. It seems like a probabilistic zero sum game in which the more excited you feel the worse you can get hurt within a chance of success.

Today it happened again, plan failed and I ended up with a lonely morning instead of a nice company. I saw a movie, "Her", which was nice and at the end it kept me thinking about what we have when we have nothing sure. How much of ourselves is hopes, promises, plans... just probabilities of something that might or might now happen, and that will most certainly never been as we thought (it ends up being much better sometimes!).

So let me write you about the guy who started a song that made him remember about a girl. The girl was crying in the song about being lonely as the guy comes to make her company; towards the end of the song another one followed about the small details that made the girl super attractive to that guy. The nice lyrics made a connection between the couple in the video and the guy dreaming of the girl he´ll meet the next day. He could imagine her hair, just with a slight change, following the paths described by the song. The fashion style in the song was different than in reality but she would look amazing either way, so the small movement in the clothes when challenged by the wind was as innocently sexy as in the next song talking about a cute girl and a shy guy. The guy was terrified on his upcoming date, despite amazingly going out with this girl for a couple of times, he felt he had to make a move quickly, the initial interest was getting lost... yet the music she recommended to him was confusing. At some points it seemed like a love confession... other times, well maybe they were just songs. A thousand thoughts don´t make a reality so let´s listen to music and see what happens tomorrow. May it be a sad finale, or the start of an even longer and more bright song?

What am I?

I'm vegetarian. Even if people say I'm missing the best of life, I like to know that no animal has been killed to feed me. I care about them, as much as I care about nature, the world and the people. I love to help them. I'm happy to have a job where I can use my talents and knowledge to help people, it just feels right. I bike and compost, I try to save energy and resources. But don´t be fooled, I still can party and I'm a techish guy. I like having a life full of variety, that might make me look incoherent, but I'm what I am and I wouldn´t change that to follow an ideology. I do well and that's my belief.I guess that makes me a hippie, perhaps a weird one. I like to meet different people and places. No matter how snobbish or cheap, no place is bad to have a few drinks if you have good company. For that I try to try all kind of places. I don´t understand how people talk against discrimination while they discriminate snobbish people themselves. As in everything in life I think you can learn from everyone, everywhere and everything. I like to go to cultural activities. That's not because I know a lot about culture, but because I know that I don´t know and I want to learn. I know I'm not perfect, but still I prefer to have my own mistakes that to follow the correct answers of someone else. People call me crazy often, both in a good and in a bad way. I like it, perhaps I would find more offensive if someone told me that I'm normal, sane or just like everyone else. Life is yours to live it your way.

Getting up again!

Please don´t get mad, I know you told me not to do it. But I can´t avoid to miss you and today I was looking at your pics in cyworld. I saw some new pics of you. I remembered all those laughs we had. I must admit I became very sad at the beginning, thinking of the love we had and lost.

However now listening to the music you sent me, still looking the pics, I smile because we had such an awesome time, because I met you, because we are special to each other and because you will always be my bestest friend ;)

I once thought that if you say "I love you" again I would cross the Earth for you... I had to change my mind even if the heart (my heart) you took to korea has taken too much time to come back. Now I try to be strong and smile again, I have to set a new goal for myself. I always told you there should be 1-2 girls as beautiful as you in the world... now I have to find them! Now my wish is to date the prettiest girl, like I did in the USA.

tqm!

No matter how much I look for another sunrise...

...darkness surrounds me and the sun seems farther away every day.

I miss you

If I would know how much I was going to miss you...

... I would have been 1cm closer to you

... I would have been 1min earlier every time I met you

... I would have kissed you one more time everyday

... I would have made you smile one more time every now and then

cuz now I feel I would die to be 1cm away from you, for 1min to smile in my heart while I kiss you at least one more time